Love Galore: A Guide to Relationships In Your 20s
As a young woman in my 20s, I have experienced several days where I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing or how I got to where I am today. Between college, credit cards, working multiple jobs and trying to have a social life overall, thing can get pretty stressful. Enter relationships *face palm* Just the sound of the word stresses some out but if you are like me, you're looking for someone to share something meaningful with but don't necessarily know how to get there. Never fear 20-something's, I have a guide on how to navigate the sometimes scary topic of relationships. If you take these 10 pointers into consideration, you MIGHT (not making any promises!) be able to breathe easier when it comes to finding love.
10. Just texting IS NOT a relationship!
I started with this one because it is one of the MOST IMPORTANT things to remember! We live in a time where there are apps like Tinder and When Coffee Meets Bagel (A new one to me) but liking someone's profile and exchanging numbers and/or nudes isn't a relationship. If the both of you make your intentions known then dammit get your ass off of the couch and go on a date! (Excuse my bluntness, it's an acquired taste)
9. Stop letting society norms control how you approach relationships overall.
Don't let the 'Adam & Eve, Not Adam & Steve' posters scare you for my LGBT loves. You are allowed to love who you want and how you like regardless of the gender. Also, girls, straight or otherwise, don't be afraid to be aggressive and take the first step. Sometimes guys hate being the one who has initiate everything so share the responsibility and you'll find things will never get old.
8. Not everything comes down to money.
This rule has multiple meanings. If you're dealing with someone who doesn't make as much money as you or doesn't work at all, don't hold that against them. Being in your 20s is hard enough to deal with or without you holding their financial situation over their head.
7. Do not get mad at your significant other for working to support themselves.
Just to piggyback off of rule number 8, don't get mad at your boo if they are working too much. Yes, they should make time for you BUT you don't know their financial situation. Most 20-somethings are in college and/or still living at home. That all comes at a price. Some may be working in order to help out financially at home while others might be working just to make sure that they do not have to lean on anyone for help.
6. Being independent is good, but don't let it ruin your chances.
My parents always taught me to be independent and not to rely on anyone to do anything for me. Now some find that quality sexy in a woman, but don't let it be your downfall. Don't go into a relationship with the "I don't need to be saved mentality" Everyone needs a mental break or a Superman from time to time. Trust me, it will pay off in the long run, as long as you play it smart.
5. Don't let your friends, family or SOCIAL MEDIA dictate your relationship!
There have been posts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram where couples have been described as #relationshipgoals and I feel like some have let that go to their heads. While it is nice to show love to your significant other, don't let comments and likes control how you move in your relationship. At the end of the day, you can't date a like or introduce a comment to your family or build a life with viral status. Same goes for your friends and family.
4. COMMUNICATE
Regardless of how you got to where you are today, don't expect that the person that you're with to be a mind reader. Communicate, communicate, communicate. If you don't feel comfortable with how something is being handled or you feel as though the direction of your relationship is going left, SPEAK UP. Be respectful, voice your concerns, and work together to fix it so that there will be smooth sailing ahead. By the way, fellas, don't fade to black when you don't get your way. That's out! Be an adult and talk things out. No one's asking you to cry or get all mushy but letting someone know when something does not sit right with you will make everything a lot easier.
3. TRUST
Trust is not something that can be built overnight but understand this, without trust there can be no love. No one is saying that you are not allowed to have insecurities but do not, I repeat DO NOT let your past have any influence on your present or your future. So your last man had a secret girlfriend that he was dating for 2 years before you came into the picture. Ok and? That has absolutely nothing to do with the man that is in your space right now. Trust that you've made the right choice and trust that he has your best interest at heart.
2. Make time for each other regardless of what's going on in your world.
This particular rule is something that I, myself, have struggled with for a long time. When things don't go right with me, whether it's struggling with how to get back to school financially or a death in the family, I shut down and don't talk much to anyone. I already know that I've got to get out of it and that is something that I am working on. But making time for someone doesn't necessarily mean that you have to dress up and go out on a date. You could just drive up the block and have a parked car conversation or lay up and watch movies all day. Being around someone that you're dating is important to let them know that you're there and present and that they aren't in the relationship by themselves.
1. Love hard & love always.
No one is perfect. No one comes from the same walk of life as you. Not to say that you're going to run off and get married to this person tomorrow, but just in case, keep this in mind. You have to accept the good with the bad because the bad has molded the person that you're in a relationship with just as much as the good has. Love every part of the person you're with and hope that they do the same for you.
I know this was a bit of a read but I hope that you take these tips into consideration in your own personal life or share with a friend in need of some guidance with her own relationship. Have any additional tips for a successful relationship for a 20-something, drop it in the comments below!
Before I forget, definitely check out the artist of the picture above, @reeseroyce215. I absolutely love the artwork and keep doing what you're doing!